5:43 PM - Tuesday, Jan. 23, 2007
A story that I posted on Tokyopop, but this is the revised version.
The old version is at tokyopop. Dedicated to my friend, Jessica.

My soul yearns for my true meaning in life. Once I found out, it became my only ambition. But then it was shattered by the man I loved the most. He gave me something else I yearned so dearly - love, comfort, care. But threw it away, by words that I would remember for the rest of my life.

It was the exactly 7:13 pm. The wind rushed past through the park like it was nothing. The beautiful full moon shone through the dark premises of the grass. Her back leaned against the East Tower waiting upon his arrival. The wind swayed her dark hair as she looked the beautiful luminating moon. Her hand tightly clutched her burgundy amulet.

He wasn't here yet. Did he forget? Her eyes began to doubt unbearably until she saw his dark shadowy figure coming from the brick pathway. She began to straighten her image a bit and smiled. But something wrong would destroy her heart to dust.

"So what did you want to tell me, Ryu? You are unreasonably late." His tone of his voice answered her - something unsual that would cut through her defenses.

"Mitsuki," his eyes looked her with a stranged look,"I wanted to tell you something for a long time now." His serious look turned into pure anger. "I hate you."

It was so straight forward. It shocked her. Her eyes widened at the stated facts. So he just played with me. Never cared about me, but he used me to make my life like a wonderous fairyland. But in reality, he was tormenting, no, toying with my feelings making a perfect illusion to fool myself. Her head lowered looking at the ground. Her eyes wondered at her feet, trying to figure out what she was she was suppose to do. What she was suppose to say in this kind of situation?

The horrors she tried to forget came back to haunt her. It felt like what happened years ago. The memories of that night were still fresh in her mind, and they never left. There was a fire that ruined my family, my life. At that time, I was so young, and everything I once had was gone. The wind suddenly became a paltry breeze that was taunting her. The one thing I didn't want to see in my life was haunting me this very moment. The fear of someone leaving me took a huge toll in my life. She closed her eyes and reopened them slightly to listen to the words he had to say.

"The only thing that I liked about you was that you didn't talk a lot. Unlike those annoying girls, but I think you are very boring. How can a guy like me date you?" The person actually complemented her, but she knew very well that he was a very negative person. She lift her head, so it was perpendicular to the ground. She turned her head slightly, she didn't have to look at him directly.

Her facial expressions showed no emotions. 'It was bound to happen wasn't it?' Her voice was restricted for the time being, but her thoughts began to reason the situation she was in. Of course, he didn't love me. He could play with any girl he wants with that type of personality. So him loving me will get him no where.

It was the last thing that I ever heard from his mouth. It crushed my heart to bits. Each comforting word which he said to me, I would keep dear in my heart and never let go, but now he began to tear it to pieces.

"I hate you. I always have. You are, of course, of no interest to me. So why let this charade keep on going? I think you are the most pathetic person on earth."

It tore my heart to shreds - the man I thought who cared for me is now stabbing me, but I knew deep inside. I truly loved what he did for me in the past. He compassionate enough to come and comfort me, even if was a façade. The sky suddenly darkened. The moonlight dimmed. 'That is why...' I tried to think clearly - I didn't want to cry, so I bottled up inside. I turned and faced him.

"Thank you, Ryu." 'I truly love you.' I gave him a relax smile.

"Thank you, Ryu, for showing me what happiness truly is." 'Thank you for letting me express my love for you this way.'

I slowly walked away with no tears trailing behind. My back was turned; I clutched my amulet once more, trying not to lose myself to distress. The sky began clouding its beautiful bright stars. Deep inside I knew they were like me, hiding my true emotions, but I no longer knew what I truly wanted in life. Because my life is just a façade.

The pale moon began to hide behind the clouds no longer spreading its magnificient rays of light. It was exactly how I felt under that mask.

AN: I like this revised version much better. It's long and gives so much more detail compare to one on tokyopop, so if you read this please leave me a comment or comment on my account at tokyopop. Thank You. And Happy Birthday, Jessica!

Edited: this was inspired by many heartbroken people or mostly dumped people, but the society is so different. Wanting boyfriends for happiest, but not doing it for marriage, it won't be a happy life. It's just sad that people only want to date for the wrong reasons. That's why dating is such a disaster - plain desire will never be happiest.

|

previous - next